While there are many women who would like to be surrogates, either because they have a desire to help someone or because they’re looking for the financial assistance they can receive for their effort, many may not be physically or emotionally qualified. The criminal and social background assessment, medical testing and mental health evaluation are all critical to determining whether the surrogate can become pregnant and safely carry a pregnancy to term. For this reason, finding a gestational surrogate who is qualified, whom you trust and with whom you have shared expectations, can be complicated and time-consuming. Fortunately, there are resources and professionals available to help you find a who is qualified and a good match for you both.
We’ve provided more detailed information below regarding how you can find a surrogate in New York or New Jersey.
Most surrogacy “matching programs” (sometimes referred to as “agencies”) work throughout the United States. Given the tremendous variation in surrogacy laws across the country, it’s important to consider not only the surrogate’s suitability but the laws governing surrogacy in the state where she resides. If you wish to pursue your surrogacy arrangement under New York law, the matching program must be licensed by the New York State Department of Health. (Here’s the list of New York licensed matching programs).
If you’re working with a matching program, the program staff should take the time to get to know a little about you, including your personal preferences and the ideal profile for your prospective surrogate. The information the program gathers is often used to match you with a surrogate already working with their program. While some matching programs pre-screen potential surrogates before matching them with intended parents, other programs don’t start the screening process until the surrogate has been matched with intended parents.
Some intended parents may prefer to not work with a matching program either because they want to be more “hands on” in the process or because they don’t want to pay the fees charged by matching programs. For that reason, they may choose to find a surrogate on their own. There are a few ways to go about it which include:
It’s important to know that, if you wish to work with a traditional surrogate, (meaning the surrogate’s egg was used in conception) you’ll have to find a surrogate on your own because matching professionals are highly unlikely to get involved in these arrangements. In fact, New York and New Jersey surrogacy laws do not apply to traditional surrogacy arrangements. In a traditional surrogacy arrangement, the surrogate, rather than the non-genetically connected parent, is the child’s legal parent unless and until she agrees, after birth, to surrender her parental rights.
If you are attempting this process without a Matching Program it may take you longer to find someone who’s qualified, shares your surrogacy preferences and goals, and who is a good match for you. Because a professional won’t be guiding the process, it will be your responsibility to ensure the surrogate has a lifestyle conducive to a healthy pregnancy. You and the surrogate will need to determine the amount of her living expenses or compensation and you’ll need to arrange for her medical and mental health screening. Before making a commitment to one another it is critically important for you to undergo a joint counseling sessions with a therapist specializing in third party reproduction.
