While stepparents often fulfill many, if not all, parental duties and love their stepchildren as their own, they do not have a secure legal relationship with their stepchildren. What this means is that as a stepparent, your right to have a future and ongoing relationship with your minor stepchild is entirely dependent on the child’s legal parent(s) consenting to that relationship. Even worse, if the child’s parent dies, there’s no guarantee that the child will continue to live with you. More distant relatives of the child’s parents may have a greater claim to custody than you. Also, unless you make specific provisions in your will, your stepchild will not be entitled to inherit from you. In short, there are many important reasons for undertaking a stepparent adoption.
Private agency adoption is attractive because the agency does the “work” of matching adoptive and birth parents and because the agency provides a built-in support system for all of the parties. The cost of a typical private agency adoption can vary dramatically but fees typically range from $30,000 to $60,000.
Once you adopt your stepchild, you will have a legally protected relationship with one another. This will provide your stepchild with permanency and security in the event you and the child’s other legal parent(s) sever your relationship or in the tragic event that the legal parent dies or becomes incapacitated. Other benefits include the child’s right to inherit from you, even if you die without a will, and the child’s right to receive your social security survivor benefits in the event of your death. Finally, by becoming a legal parent, your child will have the emotional security of knowing that your relationship with him or her is permanent.
Same-sex married couples have the same legal rights and opportunities to undertake a stepparent adoption as different-sex married couples. For the reasons discussed in the section on LGBT+ and second-parent adoptions, many same-sex couples conceiving through the assisted reproduction use the adoption process to secure the legal rights of the non-biologically related parent. At Rumbold & Seidelman, we can help you to think through the potential pros and cons of undertaking a stepparent adoption in New York or New Jersey.
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