When you place your child for adoption in New York or New Jersey, it’s doesn’t have to be a permanent goodbye. Today many birth parents have an open adoption with the adoptive family which allows them to receive updates and photographs of the child through the child’s 18th birthday. In fact, some birth parents have the opportunity to visit directly with the adoptive family, which allows them to remain an ongoing part of the child’s life.
If you are interested in an open adoption in New York or New Jersey, we will assist you in finding an adoptive family who will support that desire and honor and embrace your communication preferences. Many adoptive families believe that an open adoption is best for the child and, because of that, they will embrace your desire to remain in contact after the adoption has been finalized. If you have questions about what open adoption means for you, you can contact us at any time by calling 914-779-1050 or contacting us.
To help you get a better idea of what an open adoption may look like for you, we’ve answered some of the most common questions people have about open adoption.
In an open adoption, the birth parents and adoptive parents communicate directly with one another before, during and after the adoption process is complete. Communicating with the adoptive family, before the placement, can help you decide whether they are the right family for your child. After the placement, you may remain in contact in the way most comfortable for everyone (typically emails, letters, photos, phone calls and in-person visits). Many birth parents find that having an open adoption allows them to watch their child grow and it eliminates many of the “what if” questions that come with closed adoptions. However, an open adoption is not co-parenting and you will not be the child’s legal parent. That means you will not have a say in the child’s upbringing or the adoptive family’s parenting style. That’s why it is so important for you to select an adoptive family that you trust to love and provide for your child’s needs. If you wish to enter into open adoption, we can assist by helping you to structure a healthy and trusting relationship with the adoptive family from the outset.
New York
In New York, post-adoption contact agreements are legally enforceable if you place your child through a New York authorized adoption agency. There are also many New York judges who will enforce post-adoption contact agreements in the context of a private placement adoption (where an adoption agency is not involved in the placement.) We can help you to create a post-adoption contact agreement between you and the adoptive parents which details how often and in what ways you, the adoptive parents and your child will keep in touch over the years. Once you and the adoptive parents agree to the terms of the post-adoption contact agreement, that agreement will be approved by the judge, provided the judge believes the agreement is in the best interests of the child. Once the agreement is approved by the court, and the adoption is finalized, you have the right to seek court enforcement of the agreement if the adoptive parents fail to honor its terms. While the adoptive parents’ failure to comply with post-adoption contact agreement will never be a basis for setting aside the adoption decree, the court has the power to hold the adoptive parents in contempt of court if they refuse to honor the terms of the post adoption contact agreement.
New Jersey
New Jersey law does not provide for the legal enforcement of post-adoption contact agreements. However, because many birth and adoptive parents agree that post-adoption contact is healthy for the child, many choose to enter into “good faith” agreements which outline everyone’s expectations regarding future contact. While you wouldn’t have the right to seek court enforcement of the agreement, most adoptive parents understand the importance of honoring the commitments they’ve made to their child’s birth parents. As your lawyers, we can draft the Good Faith Agreement between you and the adoptive family.
In many cases, a birth parent’s desire for post placement communication changes over time as their life circumstances change. Perhaps, as your child grows older, you may be more comfortable with less frequent updates or, by contrast, you, the adoptive parents and child may desire more in-person contact. Often, the post-adoption contact agreement outlines the minimum agreed-upon contact. However, if everyone agrees it would be best for the child, there is nothing preventing you and the adoptive parents from increasing the amount of contact over time. It will be important for you to honestly discuss your feelings with the adoptive family to make sure everyone is comfortable with the anticipated changes and that everyone is on the same page. If you and the adoptive family establish a healthy and respectful open adoption relationship at the outset, it’s more likely that adoptive parents will be receptive to changes in communication down the line.
The term “closed adoption” means different things to different people. In most closed adoptions, the birth parents have received some information about the adoptive family and they may even have spoken with or met the adoptive parents before the baby was born. However, in a typical closed adoption, the expectation is that the birth parents will not have any contact or communication with the child after he or she is placed with the adoptive parents.
Some birth parents prefer a closed adoption because they believe that, not having contact with the child, will allow them to more easily put the adoption process behind them and move on with their lives. Others seek to have a closed adoption because of their desire for privacy. Obtaining supportive counseling and legal advice on this issue is the best way of ensuring that the decision you make at the outset is right for you in the long run.
Whether you’re sure about your adoption decision or would just like more information about your options, feel free to give us a call at 914-779-1050. We can assist you in finding the adoptive family you trust to provide the best life for your child and to respect your wishes with regard to post-placement contact. To get started today, please call our office at 914-779-1050 or complete our online form.
